Archive for the 'swearing' Category

thoughts.

(Bea and Indi are watching the Teletubbies. The sun has the face of a baby and it laughs constantly.)

Beatrix: That baby is friggin’ nuts.

(Bea, age 6.)

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road rage.

We’re in the car, and some of my well-known impatience takes place.

Me: (yelling at drivers) What the hell is wrong with you people?!

Beatrix: I think… that maybe they are arseholes.

(Bea, age 6.)

keeping track.

(On updating her calendar)

Beatrix: I have to do it everyday. Otherwise we’re fucked.

(Bea, age 5.)

frustration.

Bea is playing on the Nickelodeon Jr. website. The Flash player becomes stuck, and Dora the Explorer keeps repeating the instructions for the game.

Beatrix: (exasperated) Shut up, Dora, I already know that.

A few moments of mumbling go by.

Beatrix: (softly) Shit. Fuck. Fucking game.

Beatrix: (fiddles with it some more. No improvement.) This fucking game is broken.

Beatrix: (heavy sigh, now shouting in anger) This fucking game is BROKEN!

Grandma: (sternly) Excuse me?

Beatrix: (yelling) THIS FUCKING GAME IS BROKEN!

[ Bea, age 5. ]

couch attack.

Beatrix: (screams) SHIT-FUCK!
Me: (rushing into the room) What’s wrong?
Beatrix: (matter-of-factly) I said “shit-fuck”.
Me: Yes, I know you said…um, yes, I heard you. Why did you say that?
Beatrix: The couch was being naughty.
Me: What did it do?
Beatrix: It was eating my leg.
Me: Oh. Okay.

[ Bea, at age 4. ]


Welcome!

An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.