Archive for the 'succinct' Category

schoolyard.

Bea is explaining her day at school to me. She recalls a conversation with a classmate.

Beatrix: So James in my class said, “That’s the easiest thing ever!” So I said, “YOU’RE the easiest thing ever!”

(Bea, age 7)

artist’s critique.

Grant is showing me a doodle he did for a tattoo idea. (See link.) We’re both laughing at it because its hurriedly done and fairly poor.¬†

Grant: It’s just a silly drawing that Uncle Grant did. It’s not very good.

Beatrix: (long pause as she examines it) I can draw very well.

(Bea, age 6.)

the quicker, the better.

After letting Indi have a few chips to dip with. I go away to check my emails. I come back into the playroom to find Indi with her hands in the dip bowl, eating fistfuls of hommus.

Me: Indi! What do you think you’re doing?!

Indiana: (through her mouthful) Dip.

(Indi, age 2)

why?

Indi is on a non-stop streak of answering everything I’m telling her with “why?” Bea is getting annoyed.

Indiana: Why?

Me: (sighing) I don’t know, Indi.

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: She doesn’t know, okay!?

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: Because she’s not a scientist!

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: BECAUSE SHE HASN’T GOT A JOB!

Touché.

(Bea, age 6.)

thoughts.

(Bea and Indi are watching the Teletubbies. The sun has the face of a baby and it laughs constantly.)

Beatrix: That baby is friggin’ nuts.

(Bea, age 6.)

smart mouth.

Bea and Indi are fighting over whose turn it is to choose a video.

Indiana: My turn!

Beatrix: It’s my turn now! You had a turn!

Indiana: No! My turn!

Opa: It’ll be my turn next, and I’ll choose smacking you on the bottom!

Beatrix: We don’t even have that video.

(Bea, age 6.)

road rage.

We’re in the car, and some of my well-known impatience takes place.

Me: (yelling at drivers) What the hell is wrong with you people?!

Beatrix: I think… that maybe they are arseholes.

(Bea, age 6.)


Welcome!

An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.