Archive for the 'pop culture' Category

the wonders of the body

Indi is sitting on the toilet. She points to her lady parts.
Indiana: What dat?
Me: That’s your bottom.
Indiana: No bottom, look!
Me: What is it then?
Indiana: It a Jigglypuff. (Pokémon)
(Indi, aged 2)

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bargaining.

The girls have a Star Wars advent calendar that contains Lego pieces inside. Indi notices the Yoda on the outside of the box and decides that she wants it.

Indiana: (pointing to the box) Bea-Bea… Chewbacca? Chewbacca for Bea-Bea?

(Indi, age 2.)

life choices.

(Ross is trying on my new Darth Vader helmet.)

Nikki: It fits you better than it fits me. Maybe Daddy should be Darth Vader.

Beatrix: (to Ross) You already have a job!

(Bea, age 6.)

deciphering toddlerish.

Indiana: Wee wee.

Me: Wee wee?

Indiana: Mm! Wee wee!

Me: Do you need a new nappy? Have you done wees?

Indiana: No.

(Some time passes)

Indiana: Wee wee! Pease! (She points to the DVD shelf)

Me: Ohhh. You wanna watch Pee-wee’s Playhouse?

Indiana: Pease.

(Indi, age 2.)

pee-wee.

Beatrix and Indiana are watching Pee-wee’s Playhouse. The intro song is on.

Beatrix: God!

Me: What?

Beatrix: He’s driving nuts.

Me: He’s driving you nuts? Is he bothering you?

Beatrix: No, he’s great.

Me: You mean he’s crazy?

Beatrix: Yeah. He’s driving nuts.

 

(Bea, age 6)

recognising the moment.

Bea and I are watching Star Wars, and it comes to Yoda’s death scene. Bea turns to me, rather concerned looking as Yoda dies, and says;

Beatrix: Does Yoda lay eggs? I don’t know what kind of an animal it is.

(Bea, age 5)

king-isms.

(Bea sees/touches something disgusting. My memory of this is vague.)

Beatrix: Ew! That’s dirty birdie.

Me: Where did you hear that, honey? Who says “dirty birdie”?

Beatrix: Vanessa says it.

(Note that Vanessa was her Kinder teacher. Note that “dirty birdie” is an Annie Wilkes quote, and that Annie Wilkes is a character from Stephen King’s novel, “Misery”. This woman is thus simultaneously the best and worst Kinder teacher ever. I love her.)

(Bea, age 4.)


Welcome!

An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.