Archive for the 'misheard' Category


Bea, Indi and Daddy are at the dinner table. Bea points to herself, Daddy and Indi and says:

Beatrix: (pointing) female, male, female.

Indiana: (pointing) female, fourmale, fivemale…

(Indi, age 3)



I’m teaching Indi how to do an Eskimo kiss by rubbing our noses together.

Indiana: Mama, you only have one Mini-mo kiss, okay?

(Indi, age 3)

deciphering toddlerish.

Indiana: Wee wee.

Me: Wee wee?

Indiana: Mm! Wee wee!

Me: Do you need a new nappy? Have you done wees?

Indiana: No.

(Some time passes)

Indiana: Wee wee! Pease! (She points to the DVD shelf)

Me: Ohhh. You wanna watch Pee-wee’s Playhouse?

Indiana: Pease.

(Indi, age 2.)

what did you say?

(Grant and I are doing trashy Dolly Magazine quizzes. I read a question out loud.)

Me: How do you prefer your make-up? Classic, dramatic, natural or smokey eyes?

Grant: I don’t wear makeup. So natural.

Me: I’m disgusted that I have to say smokey eyes.

Beatrix: (in horror) Smoking your eyes? That’s disgusting!

(Bea, age 5.)


(A discussion about Sleeping Beauty’s real name ensues.)

Me: Her name isn’t actually Sleeping Beauty. It’s Aurora.

Opa: No, that’s the Disney name.

Me: She has more than one name. She’s also called Briar-Rose.

Opa: Her real name is Doornroosje in Dutch.

Beatrix: NO, her name is BRIAN ROSE, Opa!

(Bea, age 5.)

discipline #2

Beatrix: Excuse ME, un-lady!

Turns out she meant to call her sister young lady. Still accurate, either way.

[ Bea, age 5. ]

grasping english.

Beatrix: I’m such-ely brave, Mummy. (sic)

[ Bea, at age 3. ]


An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.