Archive for the 'discipline' Category

commands

Indi has a new toy from the zoo that she has named “Baby”. It is a zebra head on a stick, that has a trigger function that causes the mouth to open and close. She is biting me with it and it isn’t working properly.

Indiana: What are you DOING, Baby? Bite Mummy! A biting!

(Indi, aged 2.)

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holiday tradition

Bea has taken out the Halloween decorations while we’re setting up for Christmas. She is playing a game with them. Indiana is snatching them away.

Beatrix: Indi’s a water monster!

Me: Oh. Is she?

Beatrix: Yeah! She keeps taking my pumpkins and filling them up with water. They don’t LIKE water, Indi — they like blood!

(Bea, age 6)

why?

Indi is on a non-stop streak of answering everything I’m telling her with “why?” Bea is getting annoyed.

Indiana: Why?

Me: (sighing) I don’t know, Indi.

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: She doesn’t know, okay!?

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: Because she’s not a scientist!

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: BECAUSE SHE HASN’T GOT A JOB!

Touché.

(Bea, age 6.)

“How dare you!”

(Bea has Indiana’s Star Wars Pez dispenser. Indi snatches it back.)

Beatrix: Hey! I had that!

Indiana: My Yoda, thank you much!

Indi, age 2.

smart mouth.

Bea and Indi are fighting over whose turn it is to choose a video.

Indiana: My turn!

Beatrix: It’s my turn now! You had a turn!

Indiana: No! My turn!

Opa: It’ll be my turn next, and I’ll choose smacking you on the bottom!

Beatrix: We don’t even have that video.

(Bea, age 6.)

threats.

Bea is riding her Radio Flyer in the front yard, and having trouble turning tight corners because the wheels stick.

Beatrix: (under her breath to the trike) I’m giving you ONE more chance…

(Bea, age 6.)

keeping track.

(On updating her calendar)

Beatrix: I have to do it everyday. Otherwise we’re fucked.

(Bea, age 5.)


Welcome!

An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.