Bea is explaining her day at school to me. She recalls a conversation with a classmate.

Beatrix: So James in my class said, “That’s the easiest thing ever!” So I said, “YOU’RE the easiest thing ever!”

(Bea, age 7)



Bea, Indi and Daddy are at the dinner table. Bea points to herself, Daddy and Indi and says:

Beatrix: (pointing) female, male, female.

Indiana: (pointing) female, fourmale, fivemale…

(Indi, age 3)


I’m teaching Indi how to do an Eskimo kiss by rubbing our noses together.

Indiana: Mama, you only have one Mini-mo kiss, okay?

(Indi, age 3)


Randomly, on the train;

Beatrix: I know there’s no such thing as Hell. Because Ocea and I dug through the tan bark in the playground to find it, and there was no smoke coming up, so it isn’t real.

(Bea, aged 6)

the wonders of the body

Indi is sitting on the toilet. She points to her lady parts.
Indiana: What dat?
Me: That’s your bottom.
Indiana: No bottom, look!
Me: What is it then?
Indiana: It a Jigglypuff. (Pokémon)
(Indi, aged 2)


The girls are playing with their Playmobil zoo set.

Beatrix: I am the lion king! The biggest lion is always the lion king. I am the daddy lion. The daddy lion is always the boss.

Indiana: No, Mummy is the boss.

(Indi, aged 2)

the fine art of joke-telling.

Indiana: Knock knock.

Me: Who’s there?

Indiana: Chicken.

Me: Tintin who?

Indiana: Not Tintin! Chicken!

Me: Oh! Chicken who?

Indiana: Moustache.

Me: Chicken moustache?

Indiana: Yes.

(Indiana, aged 2)


An archive of quotes from my radical tomboy daughters; Indiana Lux (3.5) and Beatrix Honey (7.5) on their journey to becoming less pod and more human.