the science of the body.

(Eating an icy-pole out in the backyard with Grandma)

Beatrix: Do icy-poles come out as poo or wee?

Grandma: Oh. Uh, I think probably as wee.

Beatrix: Hmm. I think cookies come out as poo.

Grandma: Do you?

Beatrix: (pause) …I think I’m going to do a wee later.

(Bea, age 5.)

quotes of the past week.

(Upon seeing me naked in the shower)

Beatrix: You have sloppy boobs, Mama.

-

(Referring to Bear Grylls from Discovery Channel’s Man VS Wild eating live animals)

Beatrix: Silly Bear. He always forget to cook his food.

-

(About a rodent character on one of her Nintendo Wii games that wouldn’t stop talking)

Beatrix: Fuckin’ mouse.

 

(Bea, age 4)

privacy.

Beatrix: Did you do a poo or a wee?

Often shouted through the bathroom door at my friends.

[ Bea, age 4.]

bones.

Beatrix: I love your toenails.
Me: My toenails? Thanks.
Beatrix: And I love your fingernails. I love your whole skeleton. I love everybody’s skeleton.

[Bea, at age 4. ]

silly bottom.

Beatrix: Excuse me, Mummy?
Me: Yes, Bea?
Beatrix: Girls have two bottoms.
Me: Yes, that’s right.
Beatrix: Boys only have one bottom. And a silly bottom.

[ Bea, at age 4. ]