deciphering toddlerish.

Indiana: Wee wee.

Me: Wee wee?

Indiana: Mm! Wee wee!

Me: Do you need a new nappy? Have you done wees?

Indiana: No.

(Some time passes)

Indiana: Wee wee! Pease! (She points to the DVD shelf)

Me: Ohhh. You wanna watch Pee-wee’s Playhouse?

Indiana: Pease.

(Indi, age 2.)

what did you say?

(Grant and I are doing trashy Dolly Magazine quizzes. I read a question out loud.)

Me: How do you prefer your make-up? Classic, dramatic, natural or smokey eyes?

Grant: I don’t wear makeup. So natural.

Me: I’m disgusted that I have to say smokey eyes.

Beatrix: (in horror) Smoking your eyes? That’s disgusting!

(Bea, age 5.)

princesses.

(A discussion about Sleeping Beauty’s real name ensues.)

Me: Her name isn’t actually Sleeping Beauty. It’s Aurora.

Opa: No, that’s the Disney name.

Me: She has more than one name. She’s also called Briar-Rose.

Opa: Her real name is Doornroosje in Dutch.

Beatrix: NO, her name is BRIAN ROSE, Opa!

(Bea, age 5.)

discipline #2

Beatrix: Excuse ME, un-lady!

Turns out she meant to call her sister young lady. Still accurate, either way.

[ Bea, age 5. ]

grasping english.

Beatrix: I’m such-ely brave, Mummy. (sic)

[ Bea, at age 3. ]

seinfeld.

Beatrix: Can we watch Seinfeld?
Me: Okay. Do you know their names? (pointing) That’s Kramer.
Beatrix: Kramer.
Me: That’s Geo…
Beatrix: George.
Me: Good! That’s Elaine.
Beatrix: Elaine.
Me: And that’s…
Beatrix: I know.
Me: Do you? What is it?
Beatrix: Cherry Seinfeld.

[ Bea, at age 4. ]