commands

Indi has a new toy from the zoo that she has named “Baby”. It is a zebra head on a stick, that has a trigger function that causes the mouth to open and close. She is biting me with it and it isn’t working properly.

Indiana: What are you DOING, Baby? Bite Mummy! A biting!

(Indi, aged 2.)

self-worth.

We’re in the car driving home, and Bea has said something funny.

Grandma: You’re a funny girl, Miss Beatrix.

Beatrix: Why?

Me: Because you make us laugh.

Grandma: And we love you.

Beatrix: That’s why you don’t want me to get runned over with a car.

(Bea, aged 6.)

boys.

Beatrix: The boys in my class all have red as their favourite colour. Because red is the colour of blood! And they like blood, okay?

(Bea, age 6.)

artist’s critique.

Grant is showing me a doodle he did for a tattoo idea. (See link.) We’re both laughing at it because its hurriedly done and fairly poor. 

Grant: It’s just a silly drawing that Uncle Grant did. It’s not very good.

Beatrix: (long pause as she examines it) I can draw very well.

(Bea, age 6.)

the quicker, the better.

After letting Indi have a few chips to dip with. I go away to check my emails. I come back into the playroom to find Indi with her hands in the dip bowl, eating fistfuls of hommus.

Me: Indi! What do you think you’re doing?!

Indiana: (through her mouthful) Dip.

(Indi, age 2)

holiday tradition

Bea has taken out the Halloween decorations while we’re setting up for Christmas. She is playing a game with them. Indiana is snatching them away.

Beatrix: Indi’s a water monster!

Me: Oh. Is she?

Beatrix: Yeah! She keeps taking my pumpkins and filling them up with water. They don’t LIKE water, Indi — they like blood!

(Bea, age 6)

bargaining.

The girls have a Star Wars advent calendar that contains Lego pieces inside. Indi notices the Yoda on the outside of the box and decides that she wants it.

Indiana: (pointing to the box) Bea-Bea… Chewbacca? Chewbacca for Bea-Bea?

(Indi, age 2.)

why?

Indi is on a non-stop streak of answering everything I’m telling her with “why?” Bea is getting annoyed.

Indiana: Why?

Me: (sighing) I don’t know, Indi.

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: She doesn’t know, okay!?

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: Because she’s not a scientist!

Indiana: Why?

Beatrix: BECAUSE SHE HASN’T GOT A JOB!

Touché.

(Bea, age 6.)

zoology 101.

Beatrix: (randomly) If you hear a koala roar, you should put it down. Because it’s going to have a baby.

(Bea, age 6.)

Clean up, Australia.

Beatrix notices some trash on the ground in the reserve near our house.

Beatrix: I really hope Australia learns to clean up the world.

Me: Me too.

Beatrix: Why do people do that?

Me: I guess they’re careless with their rubbish.

Beatrix: Yeah! They’re really lazy. They’re like, they don’t have any legs! They think they’re a daisy.

(Bea, age 6)